Congratulations! You're hired! 🎉🎉🎉
You've just been offered your dream job! The work seems interesting, you enjoyed meeting with the team during the interview process, and they're giving you a lot more money. You like your current role ok, but you've been there for some time. You decide to take the leap.
Before you pop the champagne, though, you gotta break the news to your boss.
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there's only one way to leave your job: as an adult
It's understandable that people get nervous when they give notice. After all, not all managers react well. Some of them get awkward, strained, or outright hostile. If you've been burned before when quitting, you may be expecting the worst.
The reality is that you can't control how your boss and teammates will respond to your decision. All you can control is how you show up. The way you quit changes whether people would work with you in the future. More importantly, it changes the way you feel when you leave.
It's worth it to quit well, but few people do.
1) Explain why, briefly
Last year, one of my clients left a great job to pursue what seemed like an amazing opportunity. She was happy in her current role and liked her manager and team, but the new job was a big financial opportunity for her. She knew that her departure put her team in a tight spot, and she was nervous about telling her boss. She called me to game plan the conversation ahead of time.
I asked her what she wanted to say to her boss. She monologued uninterrupted for ten minutes, apologizing for her decision over and over again. She explained in excruciating detail why the new role made sense for her and reiterated several times how she had not been looking for a new opportunity. She sounded uneasy, anxious, and confused.
I interjected: The main reason you're taking this job is that they're paying you twice as much, right? And you want to buy a house?
She said: Yes, that's it.
I said: Then just say that. "I've loved working here, but this is a lot more money and the role is right for me. Thank you for everything."
Your boss isn't owed your life story, nor does it make them feel better to hear it. All those words you want to say are not for your boss. They are for you. Say them to your friends, coach, or therapist.
Be gracious, clear, and brief.
2) Leave things better than you found them
You can feel good about your tenure in a role if 1) You stayed long enough to have meaningful impact, and 2) You leave things better than you found them.
You were hired to do a job. If you are given the chance, it's worth it to do your job to the end. Transition well and close strong. Work until the last day and document your systems and processes.
Many people stop here, but it's worth it to go one step further. Write down the metrics and milestones you've achieved during your tenure, and capture a set of suggestions for your boss about what you'd recommend for the future.
This not only sets your team up to succeed after you leave, it helps you get solid closure on your experience, too. It also helps you build your future resume while the memory of your achievements is fresh.
3) Support the team comms plan, skip the takedowns, and say thank you
You may want to share your decision with your colleagues directly. If you're leaving on good terms and have built trust with your boss, you may be given the chance to do exactly that.
However the news is shared, people will reach out to you about it. Some teammates will want to say thank you and wish you well. Others may want to learn more about what you're doing next. And of course the usual team gossipmongers will want to know if there's a sordid backstory.
Without exception, the people I've seen held in the highest regard by their teammates on the way out, the ones the team will talk fondly of for years to come and go on to work with in the future, are those who stay mature on the way out. People will remember how you show up. Here too, keep it gracious, clear, and brief.
PSA to managers: People will remember how you show up too, both the quitters and the stayers. No takedowns or unkind remarks about exiting employees, no matter how disappointed you may feel.
4) Be someone people would hire again
When you quit, the relationships that you've built outlast any particular on-the-job achievements. These relationships are truly your lasting legacy. They can also be instrumental in opening doors for you in the future.
Everyone knows to put their best foot forward when they're interviewing for a new role. However, the single best way to set yourself up for great opportunities down the line is to do outstanding work in your current job. This includes how you exit and transition.
Take the time to quit well!
Thanks for reading!
Kieran
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