Ouch!
I have been managing people off and on for a long time now. Here are ten open, vulnerable, painful mistakes I’ve made. Ouch. I’m sharing them so you don’t have to make them too.
#1: Shying away from giving difficult feedback.
This is my top Grade A mistake. It’s always easier to not give tough feedback in the moment, to let the moment pass. This is a dangerous habit. The immediate issue might pass, but the broader issue recurs until it becomes unbearable.
Management is not a job for the conflict-averse. Do your job. Give difficult feedback early before it multiplies!
#2 Not seeing the difference between someone who is great at their whole job vs someone who just manages up really well.
More than once I’ve had a great report who, outside our 1-1s, imposes a reign of terror with others. Don’t get me wrong, managing up is important! It buys time and quiet and resources for your team. But someone who focuses more on “looking good” for their boss than on working hard for their team and with their peers is culturally devastating.
#3: Creating noise rather than creating quiet.
Textio's CTO Tacita Morway told me that a manager’s top job is creating quiet for their team. I love this. So much of successful management is simplifying, providing focus, and being clear about what is important and what can be ignored.
#4: Swooping in rather than holding someone accountable.
When things are on fire, it’s tempting to swoop in and do the important thing yourself. If you do this too often, you are communicating to your employee (and their teammates) that you don’t believe in their competence.
Holding people accountable is hard. It requires conflict. If people aren’t accountable, you have to manage that. Working around them hurts rather than helps.
#5: Thinking you are a friend rather than a manager.
I care hugely about the people who work for me. Good managers often do. But your employees have real friends, and they mostly aren’t you. Sorry!
Don’t lose sight of the fact that, as a manager, you have authority, that your job is to make things safe for people to tell you the truth because authority is scary. Even/especially if you don’t feel powerful and you don’t think you are scary.
#6: Not sharing your values clearly, even/especially when they’re going to be polarizing or unpopular.
Your controversial decisions are the most important ones, because they show what you really stand for. I’ve made the mistake of thinking, “I can't tell people that I expect/value X, because I they’ll hate it and quit.” But if you value X, you have to be honest. Your employees are adults and will vote with their feet. And that is good! You want a team that buys into your values.
#7: Asking for feedback you’re not going to hear.
You should ask for feedback when: 1. You’re prepared to listen, and 2. You’re prepared to make changes, or explain clearly why you’re sticking with the status quo. Don’t ask if you aren’t going to engage it seriously.
#8: Not seeing it from your employee’s POV.
The golden rule is just always relevant. What would you want your manager to do, if you were the employee in the situation? Mostly that is the thing you should do. It’s a pretty good starting compass anyway.
#9: Not recognizing when something that is used to work is broken.
Systems grow, improve, evolve, and break. Especially when the business or market has shifted, the operations that have served you well can undermine you.
#10: Hiring the wrong person and not recognizing it quickly enough.
Hope springs eternal! And of course you have to give people space to learn and make mistakes. But when someone shows you who they are in cases of critical values misalignment, believe them.
There you have it: ten painful management mistakes I have made. Here’s to excellent managers and healthy teams!
What do you think? What's been your biggest management mistake?
Thanks for reading!
Kieran
Catch up on nerd processor case studies | Subscribe | nerdprocessor.com